Three Little Eggs All in a Row
by Fury me
Summary: A drabble prompt. Fred, George and Ron triple up to prank the owls. Little do they know, birds can play at that game too. OWLOVE! Two stand alone stories inside - Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** In response to bookwormofmassiveproportions's drabble prompt. Liked it as soon as I saw it, even though I hadn't slept for about 20 hours I started writing straight away XD Enjoy! I'm posting up another one after this – it was the original I had done for this prompt, then realized I had completely forgotten about the eggs XD

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Hedwig/Hermes, though I wouldn't mind having an owl. That'd be very interesting ^^

* * *

"Let's hide these eggs in with Hedwig."

"No, give it to Hermes."

"Hermes is a boy, you dolt."

"Well Hedwig is a self-respecting owl who wouldn't get herself into a mess like that!"

"…And Hermes does? The old guy does get around. Not to mention an owly SEX CHANGE!"

Ron turned red. "Stop saying stuff like that. Come on. The old bird'll have a heartattack."

"Ron, he's close enough to it already. Just put it in with Hedwig."

"Alright, alright…"

A very loud, indignant squawk. Ron leapt back, yelping.

"OW! She bit me!"

Raucous laughter.

"Stupid bird."

Hermes flopped off his perch, and glided (somewhat) over to inspect what was going on. To the others' surprise, he perched beside the nest preoccupied by the snowy owl. He ruffled his weathered feathers, looking proud.

The three boys leaned in closer. Their jaws dropped at the sight, then backed away, coughing as they inhaled wood dust, feathers, and a lot of unmentionables in a surprised intake of breath.

"Er…"

"What are those?"

"Mate, I think they're eggs."

"You _think_? Are those _eyes_? What else would they be?

"But I didn't put them in there."

"Ron. Mum didn't put the eggs in bird nests for you to find."

"How do we explain this? When a mummy bird and a daddy bird love each other very much – "

"SHUT UP! I KNOW ALREADY! JEEZ!"

"Aww. Your big brothers were looking forward to teaching you about that valuable life lesson."

"The bit about where babies come from? Or the bit about where Harry's owl's eggs have come from, when there's only one other owl here her size?"

…

"This is _fantastic_."

"Can't wait to see Harry's face."

"Percy'll be right pleased with this."

"Knew he left behind the featherball for a reason!"

"That bloody _genius_! I knew he had it in him somewhere."

The twins hi-fived. Standing between Fred and George, Ron wondered how Harry would react to his precious owl having been knocked up by Percy's.

Hedwig, miffed at the crowd, turned her back on owl and human alike, settling back over her three little eggs, neatly in a row.

**- E N D -**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** This was the original I had written, based on the prompt. But I had forgotten completely about the eggs, so I scrapped it and wrote the first chapter I posted here. However, I decided that though it's a bit long, I still liked it, so here's chapter two of some owlove drabble :)

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, yadda yadda.

* * *

Some people say that the universe works in mysterious ways.

Some people say that everything happens for a reason – there is no such thing as coincidence.

Beliefs like these spawn phrases such as karma, fate, destiny and inevitability.

Hedwig had her head tucked under a wing, dutifully ignoring the bushy haired girl who had been reading to the snowy owl for the past two hours. Herself deeply immersed in the Muggle Studies book, the human had never noticed when the bird had stopped clicking her beak (for food, not as praise), stopped ruffling her feathers (for attention, not pride) and had decided to give up and just nap through the dictation (boredom, not captivation).

The owl only awoke when the unmistakable sound a heavy volume makes when it is forcibly snapped shut. Jerking, Hedwig's round topaz eyes grew rounder, watching the girl throw the volume to the floor and glare at it. She then hurriedly picked it up, dusting it off and crooning apologetically to it as she stumbled in her sleep deprived state out of the door.

Hedwig blinked reproachfully at her back. She had undergone all that, and yet still no Owl Treat? Not even one? How ungrateful.

Stretching her wings, she soared out of the Weasley's attic, her way lit by a slice of dawn light. She needed a snack. Her poor little owl brain felt like mush. A mouse, perhaps, would make her feel better. Or something along the lines of it, plump and meaty…

Silent in her flight, Hedwig had no trouble picking out the squeaks of rodents underfoot. She waited, drifting almost imperceptibly closer, as she decided on a target. The fat one was never the easiest target. A challenge always collided with the prospects of filling an empty stomach. She was tossing up between the fat mouse and the brown mouse, when a racket blew right past her, not only scattering the mice but managing to fall headfirst (beakfirst) right into the mound of dirt.

She let out a screech of annoyance. As the ball of feathers straightened itself out, it revealed himself to be that abominable wreck of a screech owl. She clicked at him impatiently, having half a mind to beat him to the floor again for her trouble.

He glared up at her (for I suppose owl eyes can only glare), squawking resentment and hurt pride. She didn't bother – with a flick of her white wings, she wheeled off to find something else to prey. Miffed, Hermes followed, not so much as wanting to impress, rather wanting to scab a free meal.

As it was, the clumsy owl's irregular wing beats alerted anything with half owl hearing to hear them coming. Utterly annoyed, and despairing completely, Hedwig braced herself for a return to the Burrow. Perhaps, when Harry was awake, she'd get a proper meal?

Suddenly, the featherball beside her lagged. Oh, he lagged quite a lot already, but this time he plummeted a few feet before tired wings dragged his body up again. He hooted mournfully at her. Hedwig stared at him, alarmed. Did that thing think she was some carrier pigeon? That she was going to let him ride her like a pony? Affronted, she turned her beak and flew on, although she snuck peeks over her shoulder. She'd get into trouble if Harry found out she'd neglected Ron's owl. Clicking her beak impatiently, Hedwig found herself flying underneath the old thing, getting rudely jostled the entire way as the creature would suddenly drop on her like a dead weight, and then miraculously pull himself back into the air.

By the time they had reached the Burrow, Hedwig was short a few down feathers, a mile long of patience, and a desire to see any type of screech owl for the rest of her life. Hermes was short a few of his owl lives, breath, but looked as smug as a bird could without facial muscles.

.

"Hey,look Harry," Hermoine pointed out the window, "Isn't that Hedwig? And Hermes? Gosh, what happened to him?"

Harry peered out through his glasses. "Looks like he's about to pass out. Open the window Hermoine."

Hedwig sailed in with her passenger, shooting Hermoine annoyed owl looks that the cat owner didn't understand. She hopped over to Harry, clicking her beak proudly, though more importantly waiting for praise in the form of food. He stroked her feathers, cramming bacon into his own mouth with the other hand. "Good girl, you helped an old friend. You did good today. Go and have a little sleep. Go on, you've deserved it."

Hedwig stared at her master, owly eyes outraged. She nipped the finger stroking her, and cuffed him about the head as she took off again.

Harry rubbed his finger, perplexed. "What was that for?"

Hermoine shrugged, smoothing down Hermes' feathers. The owl crooned meekly, easily pacified. "Hedwig seems a bit cranky these days. Maybe we should put her in with Hermes for a few days, see if this docile one rubs off on her?"


End file.
